Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Dating in your "Golden Years"



  Time flies, to say the least!  I'm going to be 70 on my next birthday.  I'm so grateful,  but how the heck did that happen?  I lost my Mom when she had just turned 64.  She was so young and beautiful.  I am blessed to be here but turning 70! Crazy!

  I've been divorced for many years.  My ex-husband and I got divorced when our daughter was in second grade. Our marriage was my ex-husband's second marriage.  When we met he had a three year old daughter.  So when I gave birth to my daughter she was blessed to have a sister seven years older than her.  This complicated our divorce.  It was heartbreaking to separate these sisters.  But we could not stay married.  In the long run it would have hurt my daughter and step-daughter to witness an unhappy marriage.    


Now to present day.  I have been dating a wonderful man for seven years.  He is turning 76 in November.  His wife passed away about 18 years ago.  We met on a dating site.  Before I started dating my boyfriend I had had a seventeen year relationship.  I loved my former boyfriend very much but we had family issues that kept us from ever getting married and making a life together.  Towards the end of our relationship we were still so close,  like best friends.  I still had strong feelings for him but so much got in the way of us having a future together.  I started dating and met my present boyfriend.  A few months into our relationship I was devastated.  My ex-boyfriend passed away suddenly.  I couldn't believe what had happened nor could I handle it.  It was destroying me in so many ways.  I could barely function.  My every waking moment was consumed with thoughts of him and what had happened and possibly what could have been if we did try somehow to make our relationship work.  My former boyfriend's passing really put a strain on my relationship with my present boyfriend.  It was very tough for quite a while.  Thanks to an amazing therapist I learned to live with the grief from this loss and was able to continue my relationship with my boyfriend.    

photo via prostooleh@freepik
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

The older we get I guess the more baggage we have.  I once heard someone say that "you met a good man when he helps you unpack!"  I recently was speaking to a divorced woman who is 50 years old.  She said to me that she never wants to get married again.  She would like to meet someone who she can date but not live with. Then I was speaking with a woman in her late sixties.  She said why would a man want a woman who is 67 when he could date someone in her fifties.  Chemistry is still Chemistry.  When two people meet there is either a connection or not.  I really don't think your age is a major factor.  And maybe that man in his late sixties or seventies is looking for someone closer to his age because it just feels right!  There are times when I enjoy my alone time and don't feel the need to have a mate.  But there are more times that I do feel the need and desire to have a partner.   I know we all have different wants and needs and the answer to dating in our golden years is not the same for everyone. 

I watched The Golden Bachelor the other night.  I was loving every minute of it.  Gerry the bachelor is so genuinely kind and just real!  The show was so inspiring!  The women are between the ages of 60-75.  They were alive!  They had spunk!  And they wanted a chance at love again!  They looked great,  and yes they looked their age,  and they shined.  I'm sure some of them had a little help with cosmetic procedures but more power to them.  You go girls!  And Gerry thought that the women were beautiful.  He didn't seem to be looking for a 50 year old.  I can't wait to watch the whole season. 

I realize that there are different reasons why women want to date.  What are your reasons?  Or are you content being on your own?  No judging!  We are all individuals with our own wants and needs!  












photos via freepik


 

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